A ruddy drop of manly blood
The surging sea outweighs,
The world uncertain comes and goes,
The lover rooted stays.
I fancied he was fled,
And, after many a year,
Glowed unexhausted kindliness
Like daily sunrise there.
My careful heart was free again, —
O friend, my bosom said,
Through thee alone the sky is arched,
Through thee the rose is red,
All things through thee take nobler form,
And look beyond the earth,
And is the mill-round of our fate
A sun-path in thy worth.
Me too thy nobleness has taught
To master my despair;
The fountains of my hidden life
Are through thy friendship fair.
ESSAY VI Friendship
We have a great selfishness that chills like east winds the
world, the whole human family is bathed with an element of
love like a fine ether. How many persons we meet in houses,
whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who honor
us! How many we see in the street, or sit with in church,
whom, though silently, we warmly rejoice to be with! Read
the language of these wandering eye-beams. The heart knoweth.
The effect of the indulgence of this human affection is a
certain cordial exhilaration. In poetry, and in common speech,
the emotions of benevolence and complacency which are felt
towards others are likened to the material effects of fire;
so swift, or much more swift, more active, more cheering,
are these fine inward irradiations. From the highest degree
of passionate love, to the lowest degree of good-will, they
make the sweetness of life.
Our intellectual and active powers increase with our affection.
The scholar sits down to write, and all his years of meditation
do not furnish him with one good thought or happy expression;
but it is necessary to write a letter to a friend, — and,
forthwith, troops of gentle thoughts invest themselves, on
every hand, with chosen words. See, in any house where virtue
and self-respect abide, the palpitation which the approach
of a stranger causes. A commended stranger is expected and
announced, and an uneasiness betwixt pleasure and pain invades
all the hearts of a household. His arrival almost brings fear
to the good hearts that would welcome him. The house is dusted,
all things fly into their places, the old coat is exchanged
for the new, and they must get up a dinner if they can. Of
a commended stranger, only the good report is told by others,
only the good and new is heard by us. He stands to us for
humanity. He is what we wish. Having imagined and invested
him, we ask how we should stand related in conversation and
action with such a man, and are uneasy with fear. The same
idea exalts conversation with him. We talk better than we
are wont. We have the nimblest fancy, a richer memory, and
our dumb devil has taken leave for the time. For long hours
we can continue a series of sincere, graceful, rich communications,
drawn from the oldest, secretest experience, so that they
who sit by, of our own kinsfolk and acquaintance, shall feel
a lively surprise at our unusual powers. But as soon as the
stranger begins to intrude his partialities, his definitions,
his defects, into the conversation, it is all over. He has
heard the first, the last and best he will ever hear from
us. He is no stranger now. Vulgarity, ignorance, misapprehension
are old acquaintances. Now, when he comes, he may get the
order, the dress, and the dinner, — but the throbbing of the
heart, and the communications of the soul, no more.
What is so pleasant as these jets of affection which make
a young world for me again? What so delicious as a just and
firm encounter of two, in a thought, in a feeling? How beautiful,
on their approach to this beating heart, the steps and forms
of the gifted and the true! The moment we indulge our affections,
the earth is metamorphosed; there is no winter, and no night;
all tragedies, all ennuis, vanish, — all duties even; nothing
fills the proceeding eternity but the forms all radiant of
beloved persons. Let the soul be assured that somewhere in
the universe it should rejoin its friend, and it would be
content and cheerful alone for a thousand years.
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends,
the old and the new. Shall I not call God the Beautiful, who
daily showeth himself so to me in his gifts? I chide society,
I embrace SOULITUDE, and yet I am not so ungrateful as not
to see the wise, the lovely, and the noble-minded, as from
time to time they pass my gate. Who hears me, who understands
me, becomes mine, — a possession for all time. Nor is nature
so poor but she gives me this joy several times, and thus
we weave social threads of our own, a new web of relations;
and, as many thoughts in succession substantiate themselves,
we shall by and by stand in a new world of our own creation,
and no longer strangers and pilgrims in a traditionary globe.
My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them
to me. By oldest right, by the divine affinity of virtue with
itself, I find them, or rather not I, but the Deity in me
and in them derides and cancels the thick walls of individual
character, relation, age, sex, circumstance, at which he usually
connives, and now makes many one. High thanks I owe you, excellent
lovers, who carry out the world for me to new and noble depths,
and enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts. These are new
poetry of the first Bard, — poetry without stop, — hymn, ode,
and epic, poetry still flowing, Apollo and the Muses chanting
still. Will these, too, separate themselves from me again,
or some of them? I know not, but I fear it not; for my relation
to them is so pure, that we hold by simple affinity, and the
Genius of my life being thus social, the same affinity will
exert its energy on whomsoever is as noble as these men and
women, wherever I may be.
I confess to an extreme tenderness of nature on this point.
It is almost dangerous to me to "crush the sweet poison of
misused wine" of the affections. A new person is to me a great
event, and hinders me from sleep. I have often had fine fancies
about persons which have given me delicious hours; but the
joy ends in the day; it yields no fruit. Thought is not born
of it; my action is very little modified. I must feel pride
in my friend's accomplishments as if they were mine, — and
a property in his virtues. I feel as warmly when he is praised,
as the lover when he hears applause of his engaged maiden.
We over-estimate the conscience of our friend. His goodness
seems better than our goodness, his nature finer, his temptations
less. Every thing that is his, — his name, his form, his dress,
books, and instruments, — fancy enhances. Our own thought
sounds new and larger from his mouth.
Yet the systole and diastole of the heart are not without
their analogy in the ebb and flow of love. Friendship, like
the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. The
lover, beholding his maiden, half knows that she is not verily
that which he worships; and in the golden hour of friendship,
we are surprised with shades of suspicion and unbelief. We
doubt that we bestow on our hero the virtues in which he shines,
and afterwards worship the form to which we have ascribed
this divine inhabitation. In strictness, the soul does not
respect men as it respects itself. In strict science all persons
underlie the same condition of an infinite remoteness. Shall
we fear to cool our love by mining for the metaphysical foundation
of this Elysian temple? Shall I not be as real as the things
I see? If I am, I shall not fear to know them for what they
are. Their essence is not less beautiful than their appearance,
though it needs finer organs for its apprehension. The root
of the plant is not unsightly to science, though for chaplets
and festoons we cut the stem short. And I must hazard the
production of the bald fact amidst these pleasing reveries,
though it should prove an Egyptian skull at our banquet. A
man who stands united with his thought conceives magnificently
of himself. He is conscious of a universal success, even though
bought by uniform particular failures. No advantages, no powers,
no gold or force, can be any match for him. I cannot choose
but rely on my own poverty more than on your wealth. I cannot
make your consciousness tantamount to mine. Only the star
dazzles; the planet has a faint, moon-like ray. I hear what
you say of the admirable parts and tried temper of the party
you praise, but I see well that for all his purple cloaks
I shall not like him, unless he is at last a poor Greek like
me. I cannot deny it, O friend, that the vast shadow of the
Phenomenal includes thee also in its pied and painted immensity,
— thee, also, compared with whom all else is shadow. Thou
art not Being, as Truth is, as Justice is, — thou art not
my soul, but a picture and effigy of that. Thou hast come
to me lately, and already thou art seizing thy hat and cloak.
Is it not that the soul puts forth friends as the tree puts
forth leaves, and presently, by the germination of new buds,
extrudes the old leaf? The law of nature is alternation for
evermore. Each electrical state superinduces the opposite.
The soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into
a grander self-acquaintance or SOULITUDE; and it goes alone
for a season, that it may exalt its conversation or society.
This method betrays itself along the whole history of our
personal relations. The instinct of affection revives the
hope of union with our mates, and the returning sense of insulation
recalls us from the chase. Thus every man passes his life
in the search after friendship, and if he should record his
true sentiment, he might write a letter like this to each
new candidate for his love.
DEAR FRIEND: —
If I was sure of thee, sure of thy capacity, sure to match
my mood with thine, I should never think again of trifles
in relation to thy comings and goings. I am not very wise;
my moods are quite attainable; and I respect thy genius; it
is to me as yet unfathomed; yet dare I not presume in thee
a perfect intelligence of me, and so thou art to me a delicious
torment. Thine ever, or never.
Yet these uneasy pleasures and fine pains are for curiosity,
and not for life. They are not to be indulged. This is to
weave cobweb, and not cloth. Our friendships hurry to short
and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture
of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of the human
heart. The laws of friendship are austere and eternal, of
one web with the laws of nature and of morals. But we have
aimed at a swift and petty benefit, to suck a sudden sweetness.
We snatch at the slowest fruit in the whole garden of God,
which many summers and many winters must ripen. We seek our
friend not sacredly, but with an adulterate passion which
would appropriate him to ourselves. In vain. We are armed
all over with subtle antagonisms, which, as soon as we meet,
begin to play, and translate all poetry into stale prose.
Almost all people descend to meet. All association must be
a compromise, and, what is worst, the very flower and aroma
of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears
as they approach each other. What a perpetual disappointment
is actual society, even of the virtuous and gifted! After
interviews have been compassed with long foresight, we must
be tormented presently by baffled blows, by sudden, unseasonable
apathies, by epilepsies of wit and of animal spirits, in the
heyday of friendship and thought. Our faculties do not play
us true, and both parties are relieved by SOULITUDE.
I ought to be equal to every relation. It makes no difference
how many friends I have, and what content I can find in conversing
with each, if there be one to whom I am not equal. If I have
shrunk unequal from one contest, the joy I find in all the
rest becomes mean and cowardly. I should hate myself, if then
I made my other friends my asylum.
"The valiant warrior famoused for fight,
After a hundred victories, once foiled,
Is from the book of honor razed quite,
And all the rest forgot for which he toiled."
Our impatience is thus sharply rebuked. Bashfulness and apathy
are a tough husk, in which a delicate organization is protected
from premature ripening. It would be lost if it knew itself
before any of the best souls were yet ripe enough to know
and own it. Respect the naturlangsamkeit which hardens
the ruby in a million years, and works in duration, in which
Alps and Andes come and go as rainbows. The good spirit of
our life has no heaven which is the price of rashness. Love,
which is the essence of God, is not for levity, but for the
total worth of man. Let us not have this childish luxury in
our regards, but the austerest worth; let us approach our
friend with an audacious trust in the truth of his heart,
in the breadth, impossible to be overturned, of his foundations.
The attractions of this subject are not to be resisted, and
I leave, for the time, all account of subordinate social benefit,
to speak of that select and sacred relation which is a kind
of absolute, and which even leaves the language of love suspicious
and common, so much is this purer, and nothing is so much
divine.
I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest
courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or
frostwork, but the solidest thing we know. For now, after
so many ages of experience, what do we know of nature, or
of ourselves? Not one step has man taken toward the solution
of the problem of his destiny. In one condemnation of folly
stand the whole universe of men. But the sweet sincerity of
joy and peace, which I draw from this alliance with my brother's
soul, is the nut itself, whereof all nature and all thought
is but the husk and shell. Happy is the house that shelters
a friend! It might well be built, like a festal bower or arch,
to entertain him a single day. Happier, if he know the solemnity
of that relation, and honor its law! He who offers himself
a candidate for that covenant comes up, like an Olympian,
to the great games, where the first-born of the world are
the competitors. He proposes himself for contests where Time,
Want, Danger, are in the lists, and he alone is victor who
has truth enough in his constitution to preserve the delicacy
of his beauty from the wear and tear of all these. The gifts
of fortune may be present or absent, but all the speed in
that contest depends on intrinsic nobleness, and the contempt
of trifles. There are two elements that go to the composition
of friendship, each so sovereign that I can detect no superiority
in either, no reason why either should be first named. One
is Truth. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.
Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the
presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even
those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second
thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with
the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom
meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems
and authority, only to the highest rank, that being
permitted to speak truth, as having none above it to court
or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance
of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the
approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements,
by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred
folds. I knew a man, who, under a certain religious frenzy,
cast off this drapery, and, omitting all compliment and commonplace,
spoke to the conscience of every person he encountered, and
that with great insight and beauty. At first he was resisted,
and all men agreed he was mad. But persisting, as indeed he
could not help doing, for some time in this course, he attained
to the advantage of bringing every man of his acquaintance
into true relations with him. No man would think of speaking
falsely with him, or of putting him off with any chat of markets
or reading-rooms. But every man was constrained by so much
sincerity to the like plaindealing, and what love of nature,
what poetry, what symbol of truth he had, he did certainly
show him. But to most of us society shows not its face and
eye, but its side and its back. To stand in true relations
with men in a false age is worth a fit of insanity, is it
not? We can seldom go erect. Almost every man we meet requires
some civility, — requires to be humored; he has some fame,
some talent, some whim of religion or philanthropy in his
head that is not to be questioned, and which spoils all conversation
with him. But a friend is a sane man who exercises not my
ingenuity, but me. My friend gives me entertainment without
requiring any stipulation on my part. A friend, therefore,
is a sort of paradox in nature. I who alone am, I who see
nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal
evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being,
in all its height, variety, and curiosity, reiterated in a
foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece
of nature.
The other element of friendship is tenderness. We are holden
to men by every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear,
by hope, by lucre, by lust, by hate, by admiration, by every
circumstance and badge and trifle, but we can scarce believe
that so much character can subsist in another as to draw us
by love. Can another be so blessed, and we so pure, that we
can offer him tenderness? When a man becomes dear to me, I
have touched the goal of fortune. I find very little written
directly to the heart of this matter in books. And yet I have
one text which I cannot choose but remember. My author says,
— "I offer myself faintly and bluntly to those whose I effectually
am, and tender myself least to him to whom I am the most devoted."
I wish that friendship should have feet, as well as eyes and
eloquence. It must plant itself on the ground, before it vaults
over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a citizen, before
it is quite a cherub. We chide the citizen because he makes
love a commodity. It is an exchange of gifts, of useful loans;
it is good neighbourhood; it watches with the sick; it holds
the pall at the funeral; and quite loses sight of the delicacies
and nobility of the relation. But though we cannot find the
god under this disguise of a sutler, yet, on the other hand,
we cannot forgive the poet if he spins his thread too fine,
and does not substantiate his romance by the municipal virtues
of justice, punctuality, fidelity, and pity. I hate the prostitution
of the name of friendship to signify modish and worldly alliances.
I much prefer the company of ploughboys and tin-peddlers,
to the silken and perfumed amity which celebrates its days
of encounter by a frivolous display, by rides in a curricle,
and dinners at the best taverns. The end of friendship is
a commerce the most strict and homely that can be joined;
more strict than any of which we have experience. It is for
aid and comfort through all the relations and passages of
life and death. It is fit for serene days, and graceful gifts,
and country rambles, but also for rough roads and hard fare,
shipwreck, poverty, and persecution. It keeps company with
the sallies of the wit and the trances of religion. We are
to dignify to each other the daily needs and offices of man's
life, and embellish it by courage, wisdom, and unity. It should
never fall into something usual and settled, but should be
alert and inventive, and add rhyme and reason to what was
drudgery.
Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly,
each so well tempered and so happily adapted, and withal so
circumstanced, (for even in that particular, a poet says,
love demands that the parties be altogether paired,) that
its satisfaction can very seldom be assured. It cannot subsist
in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this
warm lore of the heart, betwixt more than two. I am not quite
so strict in my terms, perhaps because I have never known
so high a fellowship as others. I please my imagination more
with a circle of godlike men and women variously related to
each other, and between whom subsists a lofty intelligence.
But I find this law of one to one peremptory for conversation,
which is the practice and consummation of friendship. Do not
mix waters too much. The best mix as ill as good and bad.
You shall have very useful and cheering discourse at several
times with two several men, but let all three of you come
together, and you shall not have one new and hearty word.
Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part
in a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort.
In good company there is never such discourse between two,
across the table, as takes place when you leave them alone.
In good company, the individuals merge their egotism into
a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several consciousnesses
there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no fondnesses
of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent,
but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on
the common thought of the party, and not poorly limited to
his own. Now this convention, which good sense demands, destroys
the high freedom of great conversation, which requires an
absolute running of two souls into one.
No two men but, being left alone with each other, enter into
simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which
two shall converse. Unrelated men give little joy to each
other; will never suspect the latent powers of each. We talk
sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were
a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is
an evanescent relation, — no more. A man is reputed to have
thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word
to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as
much reason as they would blame the insignificance of a dial
in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour. Among those
who enjoy his thought, he will regain his tongue.
Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness,
that piques each with the presence of power and of consent
in the other party. Let me be alone to the end of the world,
rather than that my friend should overstep, by a word or a
look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by antagonism
and by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself.
The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not
mine is mine. I hate, where I looked for a manly
furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush
of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend
than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands
is ability to do without it. That high office requires great
and sublime parts. There must be very two, before there can
be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable
natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they
recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities
unites them.
He only is fit for this society who is magnanimous; who is
sure that greatness and goodness are always economy; who is
not swift to intermeddle with his fortunes. Let him not intermeddle
with this. Leave to the diamond its ages to grow, nor expect
to accelerate the births of the eternal. Friendship demands
a religious treatment. We talk of choosing our friends, but
friends are self-elected. Reverence is a great part of it.
Treat your friend as a spectacle. Of course he has merits
that are not yours, and that you cannot honor, if you must
needs hold him close to your person. Stand aside; give those
merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you the friend
of your friend's buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart
he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that
he may come near in the holiest ground. Leave it to girls
and boys to regard a friend as property, and to suck a short
and all-confounding pleasure, instead of the noblest benefit.
Let us buy our entrance to this guild by a long probation.
Why should we desecrate noble and beautiful souls by intruding
on them? Why insist on rash personal relations with your friend?
Why go to his house, or know his mother and brother and sisters?
Why be visited by him at your own? Are these things material
to our covenant? Leave this touching and clawing. Let him
be to me a spirit. A message, a thought, a sincerity, a glance
from him, I want, but not news, nor pottage. I can get politics,
and chat, and neighbourly conveniences from cheaper companions.
Should not the society of my friend be to me poetic, pure,
universal, and great as nature itself? Ought I to feel that
our tie is profane in comparison with yonder bar of cloud
that sleeps on the horizon, or that clump of waving grass
that divides the brook? Let us not vilify, but raise it to
that standard. That great, defying eye, that scornful beauty
of his mien and action, do not pique yourself on reducing,
but rather fortify and enhance. Worship his superiorities;
wish him not less by a thought, but hoard and tell them all.
Guard him as thy counterpart. Let him be to thee for ever
a sort of beautiful enemy, untamable, devoutly revered, and
not a trivial conveniency to be soon outgrown and cast aside.
The hues of the opal, the light of the diamond, are not to
be seen, if the eye is too near. To my friend I write a letter,
and from him I receive a letter. That seems to you a little.
It suffices me. It is a spiritual gift worthy of him to give,
and of me to receive. It profanes nobody. In these warm lines
the heart will trust itself, as it will not to the tongue,
and pour out the prophecy of a godlier existence than all
the annals of heroism have yet made good.
Respect so far the holy laws of this fellowship as not to
prejudice its perfect flower by your impatience for its opening.
We must be our own before we can be another's. There is at
least this satisfaction in crime, according to the Latin proverb;
— you can speak to your accomplice on even terms. Crimen
quos inquinat, aequat. To those whom we admire and love,
at first we cannot. Yet the least defect of self-possession
vitiates, in my judgment, the entire relation. There can never
be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual respect, until,
in their dialogue, each stands for the whole world.
What is so great as friendship, let us carry with what grandeur
of spirit we can. Let us be silent, — so we may hear the whisper
of the gods. Let us not interfere. Who set you to cast about
what you should say to the select souls, or how to say any
thing to such? No matter how ingenious, no matter how graceful
and bland. There are innumerable degrees of folly and wisdom,
and for you to say aught is to be frivolous. Wait, and thy
heart shall speak. Wait until the necessary and everlasting
overpowers you, until day and night avail themselves of your
lips. The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to
have a friend is to be one. You shall not come nearer a man
by getting into his house. If unlike, his soul only flees
the faster from you, and you shall never catch a true glance
of his eye. We see the noble afar off, and they repel us;
why should we intrude? Late, — very late, — we perceive that
no arrangements, no introductions, no consuetudes or habits
of society, would be of any avail to establish us in such
relations with them as we desire, — but solely the uprise
of nature in us to the same degree it is in them; then shall
we meet as water with water; and if we should not meet them
then, we shall not want them, for we are already they. In
the last analysis, love is only the reflection of a man's
own worthiness from other men. Men have sometimes exchanged
names with their friends, as if they would signify that in
their friend each loved his own soul.
The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the
less easy to establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone
in the world. Friends, such as we desire, are dreams and fables.
But a sublime hope cheers ever the faithful heart, that elsewhere,
in other regions of the universal power, souls are now acting,
enduring, and daring, which can love us, and which we can
love. We may congratulate ourselves that the period of nonage,
of follies, of blunders, and of shame, is passed in SOULITUDE,
and when we are finished men, we shall grasp heroic hands
in heroic hands. Only be admonished by what you already see,
not to strike leagues of friendship with cheap persons, where
no friendship can be. Our impatience betrays us into rash
and foolish alliances which no God attends. By persisting
in your path, though you forfeit the little you gain the great.
You demonstrate yourself, so as to put yourself out of the
reach of false relations, and you draw to you the first-born
of the world, — those rare pilgrims whereof only one or two
wander in nature at once, and before whom the vulgar great
show as spectres and shadows merely.
It is foolish to be afraid of making our ties too spiritual,
as if so we could lose any genuine love. Whatever correction
of our popular views we make from insight, nature will be
sure to bear us out in, and though it seem to rob us of some
joy, will repay us with a greater. Let us feel, if we will,
the absolute insulation of man. We are sure that we have all
in us. We go to Europe, or we pursue persons, or we read books,
in the instinctive faith that these will call it out and reveal
us to ourselves. Beggars all. The persons are such as we;
the Europe an old faded garment of dead persons; the books
their ghosts. Let us drop this idolatry. Let us give over
this mendicancy. Let us even bid our dearest friends farewell,
and defy them, saying, 'Who are you? Unhand me: I will be
dependent no more.' Ah! seest thou not, O brother, that thus
we part only to meet again on a higher platform, and only
be more each other's, because we are more our own? A friend
is Janus-faced: he looks to the past and the future. He is
the child of all my foregoing hours, the prophet of those
to come, and the harbinger of a greater friend.
I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would
have them where I can find them, but I seldom use them. We
must have society on our own terms, and admit or exclude it
on the slightest cause. I cannot afford to speak much with
my friend. If he is great, he makes me so great that I cannot
descend to converse. In the great days, presentiments hover
before me in the firmament. I ought then to dedicate myself
to them. I go in that I may seize them, I go out that I may
seize them. I fear only that I may lose them receding into
the sky in which now they are only a patch of brighter light.
Then, though I prize my friends, I cannot afford to talk with
them and study their visions, lest I lose my own. It would
indeed give me a certain household joy to quit this lofty
seeking, this spiritual astronomy, or search of stars, and
come down to warm sympathies with you; but then I know well
I shall mourn always the vanishing of my mighty gods. It is
true, next week I shall have languid moods, when I can well
afford to occupy myself with foreign objects; then I shall
regret the lost literature of your mind, and wish you were
by my side again. But if you come, perhaps you will fill my
mind only with new visions, not with yourself but with your
lustres, and I shall not be able any more than now to converse
with you. So I will owe to my friends this evanescent intercourse.
I will receive from them, not what they have, but what they
are. They shall give me that which properly they cannot give,
but which emanates from them. But they shall not hold me by
any relations less subtile and pure. We will meet as though
we met not, and part as though we parted not.
It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to
carry a friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence
on the other. Why should I cumber myself with regrets that
the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that
some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space,
and only a small part on the reflecting planet. Let your greatness
educate the crude and cold companion. If he is unequal, he
will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own
shining, and, no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar
and burn with the gods of the empyrean. It is thought a disgrace
to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love
cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object,
and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed
mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth,
and feels its independency the surer. Yet these things may
hardly be said without a sort of treachery to the relation.
The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity
and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It
treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.