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"I was
as a gem concealed;
Me my burning ray revealed."
Koran
ESSAY
V Love
Every
promise of the soul has innumerable fulfilments; each ofnt.
Nature, uncontainable, flowing, forelooking, in the first
sentiment of kindness anticipates already a benevolence which
shall lose all particular regards in its general light. The
introduction to this felicity is in a private and tender relation
of one to one, which is the enchantment of human life; which,
like a certain divine rage and enthusiasm, seizes on man at
one period, and works a revolution in his mind and body; unites
him to his race, pledges him to the domestic and civic relations,
carries him with new sympathy into nature, enhances the power
of the senses, opens the imagination, adds to his character
heroic and sacred attributes, establishes marriage, and gives
permanence to human society.
The natural
association of the sentiment of love with the heyday of the
blood seems to require, that in order to portray it in vivid
tints, which every youth and maid should confess to be true
to their throbbing experience, one must not be too old. The
delicious fancies of youth reject the least savour of a mature
philosophy, as chilling with age and pedantry their purple
bloom. And, therefore, I know I incur the imputation of unnecessary
hardness and stoicism from those who compose the Court and
Parliament of Love. But from these formidable censors I shall
appeal to my seniors. For it is to be considered that this
passion of which we speak, though it begin with the young,
yet forsakes not the old, or rather suffers no one who is
truly its servant to grow old, but makes the aged participators
of it, not less than the tender maiden, though in a different
and nobler sort. For it is a fire that, kindling its first
embers in the narrow nook of a private bosom, caught from
a wandering spark out of another private heart, glows and
enlarges until it warms and beams upon multitudes of men and
women, upon the universal heart of all, and so lights up the
whole world and all nature with its generous flames. It matters
not, therefore, whether we attempt to describe the passion
at twenty, at thirty, or at eighty years. He who paints it
at the first period will lose some of its later, he who paints
it at the last, some of its earlier traits. Only it is to
be hoped that, by patience and the Muses' aid, we may attain
to that inward view of the law, which shall describe a truth
ever young and beautiful, so central that it shall commend
itself to the eye, at whatever angle beholden.
And the
first condition is, that we must leave a too close and lingering
adherence to facts, and study the sentiment as it appeared
in hope and not in history. For each man sees his own life
defaced and disfigured, as the life of man is not, to his
imagination. Each man sees over his own experience a certain
stain of error, whilst that of other men looks fair and ideal.
Let any man go back to those delicious relations which make
the beauty of his life, which have given him sincerest instruction
and nourishment, he will shrink and moan. Alas! I know not
why, but infinite compunctions embitter in mature life the
remembrances of budding joy, and cover every beloved name.
Every thing is beautiful seen from the point of the intellect,
or as truth. But all is sour, if seen as experience. Details
are melancholy; the plan is seemly and noble. In the actual
world — the painful kingdom of time and place — dwell care,
and canker, and fear. With thought, with the ideal, is immortal
hilarity, the rose of joy. Round it all the Muses sing. But
grief cleaves to names, and persons, and the partial interests
of to-day and yesterday.
The strong
bent of nature is seen in the proportion which this topic
of personal relations usurps in the conversation of society.
What do we wish to know of any worthy person so much, as how
he has sped in the history of this sentiment? What books in
the circulating libraries circulate? How we glow over these
novels of passion, when the story is told with any spark of
truth and nature! And what fastens attention, in the intercourse
of life, like any passage betraying affection between two
parties? Perhaps we never saw them before, and never shall
meet them again. But we see them exchange a glance, or betray
a deep emotion, and we are no longer strangers. We understand
them, and take the warmest interest in the development of
the romance. All mankind love a lover. The earliest demonstrations
of complacency and kindness are nature's most winning pictures.
It is the dawn of civility and grace in the coarse and rustic.
The rude village boy teases the girls about the school-house
door; — but to-day he comes running into the entry, and meets
one fair child disposing her satchel; he holds her books to
help her, and instantly it seems to him as if she removed
herself from him infinitely, and was a sacred precinct. Among
the throng of girls he runs rudely enough, but one alone distances
him; and these two little neighbours, that were so close just
now, have learned to respect each other's personality. Or
who can avert his eyes from the engaging, half-artful, half-artless
ways of school-girls who go into the country shops to buy
a skein of silk or a sheet of paper, and talk half an hour
about nothing with the broad-faced, good-natured shop-boy.
In the village they are on a perfect equality, which love
delights in, and without any coquetry the happy, affectionate
nature of woman flows out in this pretty gossip. The girls
may have little beauty, yet plainly do they establish between
them and the good boy the most agreeable, confiding relations,
what with their fun and their earnest, about Edgar, and Jonas,
and Almira, and who was invited to the party, and who danced
at the dancing-school, and when the singing-school would begin,
and other nothings concerning which the parties cooed. By
and by that boy wants a wife, and very truly and heartily
will he know where to find a sincere and sweet mate, without
any risk such as Milton deplores as incident to scholars and
great men.
I have
been told, that in some public discourses of mine my reverence
for the intellect has made me unjustly cold to the personal
relations. But now I almost shrink at the remembrance of such
disparaging words. For persons are love's world, and the coldest
philosopher cannot recount the debt of the young soul wandering
here in nature to the power of love, without being tempted
to unsay, as treasonable to nature, aught derogatory to the
social instincts. For, though the celestial rapture falling
out of heaven seizes only upon those of tender age, and although
a beauty overpowering all analysis or comparison, and putting
us quite beside ourselves, we can seldom see after thirty
years, yet the remembrance of these visions outlasts all other
remembrances, and is a wreath of flowers on the oldest brows.
But here is a strange fact; it may seem to many men, in revising
their experience, that they have no fairer page in their life's
book than the delicious memory of some passages wherein affection
contrived to give a witchcraft surpassing the deep attraction
of its own truth to a parcel of accidental and trivial circumstances.
In looking backward, they may find that several things which
were not the charm have more reality to this groping memory
than the charm itself which embalmed them. But be our experience
in particulars what it may, no man ever forgot the visitations
of that power to his heart and brain, which created all things
new; which was the dawn in him of music, poetry, and art;
which made the face of nature radiant with purple light, the
morning and the night varied enchantments; when a single tone
of one voice could make the heart bound, and the most trivial
circumstance associated with one form is put in the amber
of memory; when he became all eye when one was present, and
all memory when one was gone; when the youth becomes a watcher
of windows, and studious of a glove, a veil, a ribbon, or
the wheels of a carriage; when no place is too solitary, and
none too silent, for him who has richer company and sweeter
conversation in his new thoughts, than any old friends, though
best and purest, can give him; for the figures, the motions,
the words of the beloved object are not like other images
written in water, but, as Plutarch said, "enamelled in fire,"
and make the study of midnight.
"Thou
art not gone being gone, where'er thou art,
Thou leav'st in him thy watchful eyes, in him thy loving
heart."
In the
noon and the afternoon of life we still throb at the recollection
of days when happiness was not happy enough, but must be drugged
with the relish of pain and fear; for he touched the secret
of the matter, who said of love, —
"All
other pleasures are not worth its pains";
and when
the day was not long enough, but the night, too, must be consumed
in keen recollections; when the head boiled all night on the
pillow with the generous deed it resolved on; when the moonlight
was a pleasing fever, and the stars were letters, and the
flowers ciphers, and the air was coined into song; when all
business seemed an impertinence, and all the men and women
running to and fro in the streets, mere pictures.
The passion
rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive
and significant. Nature grows conscious. Every bird on the
boughs of the tree sings now to his heart and soul. The notes
are almost articulate. The clouds have faces as he looks on
them. The trees of the forest, the waving grass, and the peeping
flowers have grown intelligent; and he almost fears to trust
them with the secret which they seem to invite. Yet nature
soothes and sympathizes. In the green SOULITUDE he finds a
dearer home than with men.
"Fountain-heads
and pathless groves,
Places which pale passion loves,
Moonlight walks, when all the fowls
Are safely housed, save bats and owls,
A midnight bell, a passing groan, —
These are the sounds we feed upon."
Behold
there in the wood the fine madman! He is a palace of sweet
sounds and sights; he dilates; he is twice a man; he walks
with arms akimbo; he soliloquizes; he accosts the grass and
the trees; he feels the blood of the violet, the clover, and
the lily in his veins; and he talks with the brook that wets
his foot.
The heats
that have opened his perceptions of natural beauty have made
him love music and verse. It is a fact often observed, that
men have written good verses under the inspiration of passion,
who cannot write well under any other circumstances.
The like
force has the passion over all his nature. It expands the
sentiment; it makes the clown gentle, and gives the coward
heart. Into the most pitiful and abject it will infuse a heart
and courage to defy the world, so only it have the countenance
of the beloved object. In giving him to another, it still
more gives him to himself. He is a new man, with new perceptions,
new and keener purposes, and a religious solemnity of character
and aims. He does not longer appertain to his family and society;
_he_ is somewhat; _he_ is a person; _he_ is a soul.
And here
let us examine a little nearer the nature of that influence
which is thus potent over the human youth. Beauty, whose revelation
to man we now celebrate, welcome as the sun wherever it pleases
to shine, which pleases everybody with it and with themselves,
seems sufficient to itself. The lover cannot paint his maiden
to his fancy poor and solitary. Like a tree in flower, so
much soft, budding, informing love-liness is society for itself,
and she teaches his eye why Beauty was pictured with Loves
and Graces attending her steps. Her existence makes the world
rich. Though she extrudes all other persons from his attention
as cheap and unworthy, she indemnifies him by carrying out
her own being into somewhat impersonal, large, mundane, so
that the maiden stands to him for a representative of all
select things and virtues. For that reason, the lover never
sees personal resemblances in his mistress to her kindred
or to others. His friends find in her a likeness to her mother,
or her sisters, or to persons not of her blood. The lover
sees no resemblance except to summer evenings and diamond
mornings, to rainbows and the song of birds.
The ancients
called beauty the flowering of virtue. Who can analyze the
nameless charm which glances from one and another face and
form? We are touched with emotions of tenderness and complacency,
but we cannot find whereat this dainty emotion, this wandering
gleam, points. It is destroyed for the imagination by any
attempt to refer it to organization. Nor does it point to
any relations of friendship or love known and described in
society, but, as it seems to me, to a quite other and unattainable
sphere, to relations of transcendent delicacy and sweetness,
to what roses and violets hint and fore-show. We cannot approach
beauty. Its nature is like opaline doves'-neck lustres, hovering
and evanescent. Herein it resembles the most excellent things,
which all have this rainbow character, defying all attempts
at appropriation and use. What else did Jean Paul Richter
signify, when he said to music, "Away! away! thou speakest
to me of things which in all my endless life I have not found,
and shall not find." The same fluency may be observed in every
work of the plastic arts. The statue is then beautiful when
it begins to be incomprehensible, when it is passing out of
criticism, and can no longer be defined by compass and measuring-wand,
but demands an active imagination to go with it, and to say
what it is in the act of doing. The god or hero of the sculptor
is always represented in a transition _from_ that which is
representable to the senses, _to_ that which is not. Then
first it ceases to be a stone. The same remark holds of painting.
And of poetry, the success is not attained when it lulls and
satisfies, but when it astonishes and fires us with new endeavours
after the unattainable. Concerning it, Landor inquires "whether
it is not to be referred to some purer state of sensation
and existence."
In like
manner, personal beauty is then first charming and itself,
when it dissatisfies us with any end; when it becomes a story
without an end; when it suggests gleams and visions, and not
earthly satisfactions; when it makes the beholder feel his
unworthiness; when he cannot feel his right to it, though
he were Caesar; he cannot feel more right to it than to the
firmament and the splendors of a sunset.
Hence
arose the saying, "If I love you, what is that to you?" We
say so, because we feel that what we love is not in your will,
but above it. It is not you, but your radiance. It is that
which you know not in yourself, and can never know.
This agrees
well with that high philosophy of Beauty which the ancient
writers delighted in; for they said that the soul of man,
embodied here on earth, went roaming up and down in quest
of that other world of its own, out of which it came into
this, but was soon stupefied by the light of the natural sun,
and unable to see any other objects than those of this world,
which are but shadows of real things. Therefore, the Deity
sends the glory of youth before the soul, that it may avail
itself of beautiful bodies as aids to its recollection of
the celestial good and fair; and the man beholding such a
person in the female sex runs to her, and finds the highest
joy in contemplating the form, movement, and intelligence
of this person, because it suggests to him the presence of
that which indeed is within the beauty, and the cause of the
beauty.
If, however,
from too much conversing with material objects, the soul was
gross, and misplaced its satisfaction in the body, it reaped
nothing but sorrow; body being unable to fulfil the promise
which beauty holds out; but if, accepting the hint of these
visions and suggestions which beauty makes to his mind, the
soul passes through the body, and falls to admire strokes
of character, and the lovers contemplate one another in their
discourses and their actions, then they pass to the true palace
of beauty, more and more inflame their love of it, and by
this love extinguishing the base affection, as the sun puts
out the fire by shining on the hearth, they become pure and
hallowed. By conversation with that which is in itself excellent,
magnanimous, lowly, and just, the lover comes to a warmer
love of these nobilities, and a quicker apprehension of them.
Then he passes from loving them in one to loving them in all,
and so is the one beautiful soul only the door through which
he enters to the society of all true and pure souls. In the
particular society of his mate, he attains a clearer sight
of any spot, any taint, which her beauty has contracted from
this world, and is able to point it out, and this with mutual
joy that they are now able, without offence, to indicate blemishes
and hindrances in each other, and give to each all help and
comfort in curing the same. And, beholding in many souls the
traits of the divine beauty, and separating in each soul that
which is divine from the taint which it has contracted in
the world, the lover ascends to the highest beauty, to the
love and knowledge of the Divinity, by steps on this ladder
of created souls.
Somewhat
like this have the truly wise told us of love in all ages.
The doctrine is not old, nor is it new. If Plato, Plutarch,
and Apuleius taught it, so have Petrarch, Angelo, and Milton.
It awaits a truer unfolding in opposition and rebuke to that
subterranean prudence which presides at marriages with words
that take hold of the upper world, whilst one eye is prowling
in the cellar, so that its gravest discourse has a savor of
hams and powdering-tubs. Worst, when this sensualism intrudes
into the education of young women, and withers the hope and
affection of human nature, by teaching that marriage signifies
nothing but a housewife's thrift, and that woman's life has
no other aim.
But this
dream of love, though beautiful, is only one scene in our
play. In the procession of the soul from within outward, it
enlarges its circles ever, like the pebble thrown into the
pond, or the light proceeding from an orb. The rays of the
soul alight first on things nearest, on every utensil and
toy, on nurses and domestics, on the house, and yard, and
passengers, on the circle of household acquaintance, on politics,
and geography, and history. But things are ever grouping themselves
according to higher or more interior laws. Neighbourhood,
size, numbers, habits, persons, lose by degrees their power
over us. Cause and effect, real affinities, the longing for
harmony between the soul and the circumstance, the progressive,
idealizing instinct, predominate later, and the step backward
from the higher to the lower relations is impossible. Thus
even love, which is the deification of persons, must become
more impersonal every day. Of this at first it gives no hint.
Little think the youth and maiden who are glancing at each
other across crowded rooms, with eyes so full of mutual intelligence,
of the precious fruit long hereafter to proceed from this
new, quite external stimulus. The work of vegetation begins
first in the irritability of the bark and leaf-buds. From
exchanging glances, they advance to acts of courtesy, of gallantry,
then to fiery passion, to plighting troth, and marriage. Passion
beholds its object as a perfect unit. The soul is wholly embodied,
and the body is wholly ensouled.
"Her
pure and eloquent blood
Spoke in her cheeks, and so distinctly wrought,
That one might almost say her body thought."
Romeo,
if dead, should be cut up into little stars to make the heavens
fine. Life, with this pair, has no other aim, asks no more,
than Juliet, — than Romeo. Night, day, studies, talents, kingdoms,
religion, are all contained in this form full of soul, in
this soul which is all form. The lovers delight in endearments,
in avowals of love, in comparisons of their regards. When
alone, they solace themselves with the remembered image of
the other. Does that other see the same star, the same melting
cloud, read the same book, feel the same emotion, that now
delight me? They try and weigh their affection, and, adding
up costly advantages, friends, opportunities, properties,
exult in discovering that willingly, joyfully, they would
give all as a ransom for the beautiful, the beloved head,
not one hair of which shall be harmed. But the lot of humanity
is on these children. Danger, sorrow, and pain arrive to them,
as to all. Love prays. It makes covenants with Eternal Power
in behalf of this dear mate. The union which is thus effected,
and which adds a new value to every atom in nature, for it
transmutes every thread throughout the whole web of relation
into a golden ray, and bathes the soul in a new and sweeter
element, is yet a temporary state. Not always can flowers,
pearls, poetry, protestations, nor even home in another heart,
content the awful soul that dwells in clay. It arouses itself
at last from these endearments, as toys, and puts on the harness,
and aspires to vast and universal aims. The soul which is
in the soul of each, craving a perfect beatitude, detects
incongruities, defects, and disproportion in the behaviour
of the other. Hence arise surprise, expostulation, and pain.
Yet that which drew them to each other was signs of loveliness,
signs of virtue; and these virtues are there, however eclipsed.
They appear and reappear, and continue to attract; but the
regard changes, quits the sign, and attaches to the substance.
This repairs the wounded affection. Meantime, as life wears
on, it proves a game of permutation and combination of all
possible positions of the parties, to employ all the resources
of each, and acquaint each with the strength and weakness
of the other. For it is the nature and end of this relation,
that they should represent the human race to each other. All
that is in the world, which is or ought to be known, is cunningly
wrought into the texture of man, of woman.
"The
person love does to us fit,
Like manna, has the taste of all in it."
The world
rolls; the circumstances vary every hour. The angels that
inhabit this temple of the body appear at the windows, and
the gnomes and vices also. By all the virtues they are united.
If there be virtue, all the vices are known as such; they
confess and flee. Their once flaming regard is sobered by
time in either breast, and, losing in violence what it gains
in extent, it becomes a thorough good understanding. They
resign each other, without complaint, to the good offices
which man and woman are severally appointed to discharge in
time, and exchange the passion which once could not lose sight
of its object, for a cheerful, disengaged furtherance, whether
present or absent, of each other's designs. At last they discover
that all which at first drew them together,— those once sacred
features, that magical play of charms, — was deciduous, had
a prospective end, like the scaffolding by which the house
was built; and the purification of the intellect and the heart,
from year to year, is the real marriage, foreseen and prepared
from the first, and wholly above their consciousness. Looking
at these aims with which two persons, a man and a woman, so
variously and correlatively gifted, are shut up in one house
to spend in the nuptial society forty or fifty years, I do
not wonder at the emphasis with which the heart prophesies
this crisis from early infancy, at the profuse beauty with
which the instincts deck the nuptial bower, and nature, and
intellect, and art emulate each other in the gifts and the
melody they bring to the epithalamium.
Thus are
we put in training for a love which knows not sex, nor person,
nor partiality, but which seeks virtue and wisdom everywhere,
to the end of increasing virtue and wisdom. We are by nature
observers, and thereby learners. That is our permanent state.
But we are often made to feel that our affections are but
tents of a night. Though slowly and with pain, the objects
of the affections change, as the objects of thought do. There
are moments when the affections rule and absorb the man, and
make his happiness dependent on a person or persons. But in
health the mind is presently seen again, — its overarching
vault, bright with galaxies of immutable lights, and the warm
loves and fears that swept over us as clouds, must lose their
finite character and blend with God, to attain their own perfection.
But we need not fear that we can lose any thing by the progress
of the soul. The soul may be trusted to the end. That which
is so beautiful and attractive as these relations must be
succeeded and supplanted only by what is more beautiful, and
so on for ever.
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